#56782349

So...
You know how my flatmate was a f**king retard?
Well, guess what?
She still is.
So we need some repairs done to our house, its a bit old and falling apart etc.
So this week I organise a builder to come and fix it etc, so I email my 2 flatmates and tell them this and tell them that the builder is coming on Friday at 7.30am.
This is the important fact, as the builders will mainly be in the bathroom. so my email to the flatmates pretty much said:
'Don't be in the bathroom after 7.30 as the builders need to fix t and do stuff in there ''
Pretty straight forward right?
So I emailed flatmates again yesterday just as a reminder.
My alarm goes off this morning.
I get up, have a shower.
It is before 7.30
The builders knocks on the door and Ilet them in, and guess what happens?
Idiot face gets up and goes ' Oh I need the bathroom'.
I take a deep breath.
What?
She goes 'Oh , I really need to have a shower'.
Um, hello!
Builders are here now!!!
Like I said in my email that they would be here.
The mail that I sent you twice!
F**k sake, what else do I need to do for this woman!!
So the builders say, they are just quoting so wont be long etc.
So I take them to the bathroom and show them what needs doing etc.
And old dosey bones just stands there looking at us, waiting for us to be out of the bathroom so she can use it.
To be honest, I did talk more than I need to and kept them longer than necessary, I did this totally on purpose.
Then she somehow goes away, back to her room.
The builders leave.
Then half an hour later I leave for work.
Ad she cones out if her her room and says...
Oh are the builders gone?

I couldn't actually say anything.
I just looked at her and left.

Babies

A lot of my friends have babies.
That is great.
I love a baby.
Bring them on.
It there is a bay around , I will have it, I will hold it, I can feed it, whatever you need.
I love those babies.
So, these friends of mine.
The ones with the babies.
Are doing somethin gthat drives me bonkers...
This one thing about that they are all doing lately...
Sunglasses.
baby sunglasses.
Why the f**k would you put sunglasses on a baby?
I don't get it !!
I mean come on, its not necessary is it?
This stupid plastic pick elastic strap sunglasses things on the babies.
They look ridiculous!
Sure its sunny sometimes, but keep your baby in the shade if you don't want sun in its eyes.
When I was a kid no one had baby sunglasses and we all turned out fine so why now do babies need sun glasses?
It is crazy.
And really, if one more person asks me how cute I think little baby looks with glasses on I think I may vomit on the baby.
Really, do I have to answer!
Please.
So so unnecessary and stupid.
What a joke.
And don't get me started on babies with earrings...
O.M.G

How awkward...

So this is a picture of Princess Eugenie, it was taken this Sunday at a royal wedding.
Those royals love a wedding, and so do I .
Please note the blue dress she is wearing...
I HAVE THAT DRESS!!!!!
I love this.
And I also wore it to a wedding,
I think that a royal wearing a dress I have is amazing.
She is 6th in line to the throne, which is pretty impressive.
Not that I would even wish to think of anything bad happening to the other 5 in front of her.
but technically she could be queen.
So I have a dress that the maybe one day, could possibly be Queen of England is wearing.
Brilliant.
One small note...I wore this dress about 1.5 years ago, so she may be a little out of fashion, but whatevs, I think she still looks nice it it (but clearly not as nice as I did though...)

Best not to say anything...or lie.

Example 1.

Last week I had a bad day, real bad day.
To fix this, I went shopping and bought myself a pair of lush new shoes.
Tan leather, cross over the toe, sling back heels.
Hot.
So my BF comes over and we go out for dinner.
On the way to dinner he ask's if they are new shoes.
I say yes, do you like them?
He says, no.
Excuse me?
He says, I don't not like them, I just don't like them as much as your other shoes.
Wow.
Thanks.
So my new shoes, I just bought, you don't like.
He tried to back peddle out of this one by saying how nice they are and that they looked great with what I was wearing blah blah blah.
That actually the more he looked at them the more he liked them.
Um, too little to late buddy.
But what can I do.
My BF did not like new shoes.
So I have decided to only wear these new shoes from now on when I am with him.
Saturday breakfast - new shoes.
Saturday night - new shoes still.
Sunday- still with the new shoes.
Seeing him tomorrow - will be wearing new shoes.
All the time, from now on, these are the only shoes I will wear.
I am sure he is getting the point here, I am presonally not sure what the point of this excercise is as I am a bit bored myself but I am clearly doing this out of spite.
But hopefully it will learn him that next time it is better to just lie and say he likes them.
I would prefer a lie anyday when it comes to stuff like this.
The only bonus to this is that I haave already broken them in so they are dead comfy already and also my cost per wear ratio is already practically making me money.
But 0 points to you BF.
0 points.

Hi...

Um...Hi.

So, feel a bit bad about the old blog, have kinda left it for a bit to long here.
Sort of like that time I bought a parsley plant at the supermarket instead of the packet parsley and then completely forgetting to water it and it died. I had the best of intentions but just sort of forgot about it for a while.

I have 2 idea's for awesome blogs that I am going to start in the winter, they are seasonal so once I have some stuff on there I will share but I will have to try to remeber to pay more attention to this one as I really like it still and 5 years on this blog still does what I wanted it to do.

Update.

I have been ignoring the old blog of late, not due to lost love for it, more due to lack of time.

So here is a quick overview of recent activity.

I had a holiday to America which was fab, went to LA then Coachella festival and then Vegas. Was an all around brilliant time.
Those American's though, man they like to free pour their spirits.
And man, I can not handle it.
Think the worst was the night out before we where due to fly home on 3 seperate flights.
There is nothing like throwing up in an airpirt bin as you are making your way to a conecting flight wit hnot much time to spare.
Not my finest moment by any means.

We had a royal weeding in London.
My street had a good old knee's up - this is cockney for 'a party'.
So a big street party which was lots of fun.
Met lots of neighbours, and ate and drank and played with random kids.
All came to a very abrubt end when some speakers fell out of a 2nd floor balcony onto a girls face.
Bad times.

My job has exploded into the busiest most horrendous job ever.
Had to work on a Sunday and a public holdaiy which I was not happy about, but I get 4 days holdiay back in return so jokes on them when I bugger off for a week and they will have squat to say about it.

I have joined twitter.
Its strange.
I am not twittering much, more following people. The thing I dont get, is that celebrities love to have a cry about the paparazzi and being followed etc, thn they are all on twitter telling us all what they do at all times of the day.
Weirdo's.

Think that is it for now.

I am done with dates.

I am not having much luck in the old dating game at the moment. Bachelor # 1 canceled cause he got made redundant and was not in the mood. Fair enough but how about a wine to make you feel better? Then today I had a date planned for tonight, am wearing new top and jacket especially for that smart casual mid week date look and now bachelor # 2 has cancelled because he has Plurisy! What? What is this disease?!?! Who gets this Plurisy?? I had to google it to see what it was, but I have never heard of anyone having this before. Either they are making this shit up because they don't want a date with me or I am having some serious bad luck on my ROI. Next, I bet I get a cancellation for Scarlet Fever or Cholera!