Skills

I got skills to pay the bills.
Well, not really.
But I got skills that save me money, so then I can afford to pay the bills as I have not spent all my cash on night club entry.
So Saturday night, was going out for a birthday at a club.
Got a text from my mate to say that the club we where going to was £16 to get in.
Really?
That is not going to work.
So, we get there.
Everyone gets in the que.
I do something, go talk to someone.
And then we all get in for free.
Yep.
I am the winner.
Same thing happened recently on work trip with my new job.
Was in Milan on my 3rd day.
15 people including clients could not get into a club.
Somehow I managed to wangle it.
That was £300 worth of door charge.
New boss thought that was pretty impressive.
Skills.

I am to funny.

So was seeing this guy for a few dates.
Then we had another date planned.
He cancelled and never re scheduled.
So I am not getting in touch with him.
Not going to ask him for another date.
He cancelled, he should re organise, no?
So I hear nothing.
I am over it.
Christmas comes, he sends me a lame text.
I ignore it.
Then Jan comes, he text me again.
So I text him back.
We are doing the , what is going on text...
What you been up to , boring text sh*t.
So he ask me if I have any New Year resolutions.
I say yes have heaps.
He says what ones?
I say...
To stop going on dates with jerks.
No response...
I think this was hilarious, one of the best things I have ever texted to someone.
But he clearly is not amused.
Oh well.
If he cant take a joke its clearly not going to work out.
but he was training to be a doctor...that could of come in handy.

Revenge

Saturday night.
Went out for a few drinks
Got home with hot chips and garlic sauce.
Ate them.
Went to bed.
5 am.
Wake up.
Am the most dehydrated person in the world.
Need water or may die.
So drag myself out of bed..
Get to kitchen.
Turn on light.
Look at sink to find a glass.
There is a mouse.
Just sitting there.
Staring at me.
I swear it gave me the finger before it jumped off behind the fridge.
I tried to scream.
No sound came out.
Had to get a drink from the bathroom tap instead.
Back to bed.
Couldn't sleep for fear on mouse getting into bed with me.
Sunday morning set traps.
Peanut butter and 59p work of spring loaded black plastic.
Monday morning.
6.45am.
Snap.
Me 1, Mouse 0.