I admit, I like some massively sh*t music.

I bought the Celine greatness hits the other night, the uber cool guy in the record shop gave me a very odd look which I swiftly returned to him, I thought about saying, ' Oh its for my mum' but no, I am not embarrassed, I am not ashamed.
I love Celine, I embrace her and her ballads.
Later that night whilst I was belting out her hits and when I could actually hear my neighbours laughing at me, I was still not embarrassed, seriously if you do not appreciate the song ' Alone' you have not lived...well maybe you have, but you should really listen to this song, really really loud.

Anyway, Nickelback, another really sh*t band that I love who I listened to all day today... 'All the right reasons' , what an album, it is gold and these are a snippet of my favourite songs :

Follow me home - sounds like a stalker song, it is about a guy following some girl home but not in a weird way, I would also like to be called a Mississippi princess or a cowboy queen, this is also a good song for strippers to dance to.

Animals - my favourite track, I want to be the angels of someone's ride...its about a couple getting fresh in a car and her dad busting them, its classy.

Side of a bullet - what is not to love about having your name on the side of a bullet, but I think that means you are going to die...

Oh Nickelback with your bad hair and bad songs that are so bad they are actually good. Delivering naff Canadian rock to me since 1996. I would actually go to see this band, as long as they only play stuff I know and as long as I get to sit on some fat rockers shoulders for the whole gig

How to mend a broken heart...

Lots of ways to do this really.

Most people say, go out and get blind drunk...but this is not for me as I will self destruct in a explosion of bad language, late night text that I should not send to people who don't want to receive text at those times of the night / morning.

So instead I am looking to get a cat.

And also listening to fu*k loads of Celine Dion.

And spending more time and money on my appearance than I have ever done before, in a hope that I bump into Jensen Button and he wants to date me.

Freckles are sexy

Can't touch this.

I am wearing Harem pants which are commonly refered to as Hammer pants and I am right now listening to MC Hammer.
I crack me up.

Cravings

I love a craving, I get them all the time.
Most commonly they are nostalgic cravings for food in Australia.
The other day I was thinking about Sao biscuits. Man, what I would give for a Sao, you really can't beat a Sao for a snack.
With nothing on them or with some cheese and tomato or Vegemite, Sao's are so dry but so good.
Just lush dry biscuits, like water biscuits but maybe the key is the squareness of them...
And cruskits, I love a cruskit, can't get cruskits here.
I have to settle for stinking Vita Wheat, which is hard and brown, not crispy and light like a cruskit or dry like a Sao.
But yesterday I had a pang for a strawberry milkshake from McDonald's which thankfully I can get here!
Now, I admit when I have a massive hangover I am partial to a Fillet O Fish meal but I can not even remember the last time I had a milk shake from McD's... I must of been about 10 or 12.
It had been a long time and I tell you what, they have not changed that recipe one single bit as it tasted exactly the same!
Whilst I was walking home and enjoying it, it bought back many memories, like the time I went to the McDonald's drive through with my friend Samantha and we were in her dads electrical truck as he had picked us up form school, and then another time my dad took me and my sister to McDonald's. Just random memories of going to McDonald's and having a strawberry shake. My sister always got Chocolate but I am a Strawberry fan through and through.
Fascinating stuff this is, really.
And now today I got a craving for Kraft plastic cheese, which always tastes better when you fold it into little squares.
Man, when I come back in September I am spending a good day in the supermarket and then I am just going to eat my face off and reminisce about good food times.
Sao's & Cruskit's, Kraft plastic cheese, Arnott's Pizza Shapes, Lime Cordial and a good Pad Thai...

Viva la Tina

Now I am sure I have mentioned this before, but I freaking love Tina Arena.

Is it a bit embarrassing... sure, maybe a little, but screw it.
I love her.
If you wants easy listening, non offensive music that you can sing along to and you know all the words of without having to read them, then Tina has got a song for you that will get you through the toughest of days.
What is not to love about any of these:
Chains
Heaven help my heart
Wasn't it good
Show me Heaven
Sorrento Moon
Burn
Now I can dance
I want to know what love is
Really, her songs are freaking awesome. And she sings in other languages which is talented. Beyonce also does that and so does Shakira but neither of them have a ballad as good as Chains.
Through my darkest moments, I know I will be ok as long as I got Tina on my side and on my Ipod.
Tomorrow I will detail my love for Celine Dion...

I am going to write a book...

Just like that book, 'He died with a Felafel in his hand'.

You guessed it, its going to be about my a**hole flatmate.
I know this is not news but I really really hate her.
I would move out but I cant find anywhere nice to live. And she is never going to leave so I am stuck with her, it makes for good stories but seriously I wish she would just disappear.

So the latest is this...
We got a letter from the real estate about our lease, its up and are we staying on.
We had a chat about it last week, and we all said we would stay, so that is that.
The letter is in the hall on the table and we have a month to reply.
So this morning she leaves this big psycho note on the mirror saying, '' WE HAVE TO CONTACT THE ESTATE AGENT ABOUT THIS IF WE ARE STAYING!!!! ''
Um, ok, no sh*t nutcase!!
Then she come out of her room and goes 'did you see my note?'
What do you think, you wrote it in a black marker pen on fluro pink paper!!
Of course I saw your note, the whole world has seen your note!

So then today, the mails start form her...
Whine whine whine, we need to do this, we meed to do that. We need to do the garden...
How abut, I could not give less of a sh*t about the garden right now.
If you want to do the garden, then you get your fat troll a** out there and do it cause ill be damned if I am arranging my life around pulling out weeds and I most definitely do not want to do it with you.
She says, 'Can you let m know if you are home tonight to do it cause otherwise I will go out'.
Really, do I care?
No.
Will she ever figure this out?
No.