Not funny.

Last night I went to a comedy show.
A stand up comedy show.
I like comedy.
I have seen some comedy before.
Mainly big time comedians like Ricky Gervais and Chris Rock.
Those guys are funny.
Really really funny.
And I think that is the key to being a comedian.
You need to be funny.
Last night, the comedians where lacking this vital ingredient.
So there where 7 acts.
1 of them was good.
These rest were horrendous and cringe tastic and bordering on offensive.
Actually , they where just plain offensive.
If I was a lesbian, a Muslim, if I was black, wore a Burkah or had epilepsy I would of picked up my chair and thrown it at the stage.
Is it ok to make fun of people who are black or Muslim??
I am not sure.
It wasn't very funny to 2 of my friends who I a was with who are both black and Muslim.
And this one stupid girl comedian started making jokes about epilepsy.
She said oh its ok, cause I have epilepsy, so I can joke about it.
Really?
Because no one laughed when you tried to joke about it.
Why is that? Well, it is because...its not funny!!?!?!?!?
Then the next guy gets up and has his jokes written on his hand.
Um, I know it was just a local stand up in a pub but really?
Do you want to look anymore like this is your first time.
I paid £5 to go to this shit tip of a pub and for what?
Then after the show all the loser comedians where hanging around the bar, asking people what the thought.
there really is no nice way to say 'I thought you where shit'.
So not sure I will be going back to the comedy thing.
And I am certain I wont be seeing any of the z grade comedians on a panel show or a comedy special any time soon.
Really, I hope they have day jobs as the seemed to miss the memo about needing to be funny and making people laugh in order to be successful at being a comedian.
Oh dear.

LOL

LOL
What does this mean?
I have no idea.
LOL
What is it all about?
I mean, I see it , I have read it, but I don't really get it.
So I meet this stupid hot guy.
This Mediterranean, Latino Spanish dude and he gets my number and text me to ask me out.
Great, ill go, whatevs, he is hot..
Then we are texting and stuff and he asks me something.
I reply in my usual witty, funny way.
Then in his response he writes LOL.
WTF?
What does he mean?
Why did he feel the need to write LOL in his text.
I mean, up until that point it was all going so well.
His text where good and I was excited to meet him for a drink.
But know all I can think is that he will be LOLing all over the place.
I always think that LOL is a really European thing, like some code in text speak that Europeans use lots.
So maybe that is why he uses it.
I don't get it.
LOL
What a load of LOL.
I will meet him for a drink but if he says LOL I will vomit,.
Do people say LOL or is it only written?
Man I am confused over this LOL.
LOL.

Flatmate

A genius she is definitely not.
So last night I get home and go to the kitchen to cook dinner and she comes into the kitchen straight away to talk to me.
well, when I say talk.
I mean whinge.
She is un decided about going out and this is basically the conversation that we had:

Her: I cant decide if I should go out...
Me: Why
Her: Because I want to go to this talk, but I am not sure.
Me: Then don't go
Her: But I want to go
Me: Then go
Her: But I think I have decided not to
Me: Ok, then don't go

Pause

Her: I really want to go
Me: Then go!
Her: I will be late
Me: Then don't go
Her: But I would have to get ready
Me: So don't, go like that
Her: I cant go like this
Me: Then don't go

Pause

Her: OK, I am going
Me: Great
Her: Should I get changed?
Me: No
Her: I think I should
Me: Ok, then get changed
Her: I wont have time
Me: Ok

Pause

Her: Ok, ill get changed and go
Me: Ok
Her: Ok

Seriously, if there was ever a case to not have just 1 child, then my flatmate is the example.
Cause I swear half of her problems and retardness steams from the fact that she had no one to play with growing up.