Have another drink and drive home

Yesterday, I went to lunch with a few peeps at work and I was so embarrassed and appalled at how my idiot boss carried on, I had to share.
First things first, he has one drink and gets drunk. Then to make it even worse he has 2 drinks and starts talking with a South Africa accent.
There is no explanation for this, he is not South African he is English. So you can imagine how annoying he is to go out with for lunch or drinks or to be around in general which now leads me to hating him.
I sat there and laughed at his stupid jokes and try to just brush his retarded comments off but secretly I want to stab him in the eye with my chop stick.
So, we are at lunch at a fancy pants restaurant and he wants to order another drink. At the top of his voice he yells 'waiter'...'young man, can you come here'. I nearly died. The waiter was amazed by this, but idiot boss didn't seem to care he just ordered a drink and carried on like the socially retarded pork chop that he is.
Then after a few more drinks he is curious to what is in a Martini - so I tell him. He doesn't believe me, so he yells for the waiter again and ask him the following ' young man, in your years as a service industry worker, can you inform me from your vast array of knowledge - what constitutes a martini, what are the exact ingredients?'
The waiter just stood there, I tried to crawl under the table, I have never been that embarrassed in my life! I honestly would not be surprised if the waited spat in our drinks for the rest of the time we were there, so I stuck to water.
And another thing, now this is gross, I think he had fleas. He is constantly itching and scratching all over - it is so odd and makes me gag.
Luckily, I only have to put up with this crap for 4 more months till my real boss comes back form maternity leave.
And he picks his nose at this desk.

Good stuff happens on Sundays

Last night I went to a gig up in Camden. Its a bit naughty going out on a Sunday night but it was a friends birthday and I thought what the hell.
The pub we were in shut early, so we thought we would have 1 more drink at the Hawley Arms.
Now I have heard that Amy Winehouse goes there as its her local and sometimes she works there...I mentioned this to my pal as we were walking in and then we get to the bar and there she is, all beehived up pouring beers!
It was a bit surreal, I mean yes she is a crack addict, but she is a massive music star and is famous world wide and she is just pulling pints on a Sunday night, she was not that good at it - I think in my time as a bar tender I was a bit quicker and didn't stand around as much but still...

I had my camera but I was told that you get thrown out if you take photos as 'its not cool' and I didn't want that to happen. Her smacky husband was there as well, making eyes at a few girls and just sitting at the end of the bar being a smacky. It was great.

Toby Brown

Before I had my job, there was a guy doing it who's name was Toby Brown.
Toby was not very good at his job.
Toby did things like make bookings and not load them onto our financial system, or Toby would make bookings then not check the confirmations so things didn't run when they were supposed to.Or even better, Toby would make tell the client he had done something and just not do it, like book an entire outdoor campaign!
Generally Toby was crap at his job.
Toby was asked to leave.
since I have been here, every couple of days I come across something that Toby did and messed up which I now have to fix.
Calling a client and asking them to pay for £40k worth of bookings that they did not sign off on is not really some thing that I want to have to do on a regular basis.
Having magazine people ringing me chasing for material on a booking that Toby made, with no email or no confirmation or nothing is not my idea of fun.
Toby used to make bookings over the phone...which does not really work in the job or actually come to think of it, that does not work in general.
Toby Brown is ruining my life and if I ever meet him I will be letting him know exactly how I feel, everytime I hear his name I know it is going to be bad news.
I hate Toby Brown.

Name dropping ... again.

It London fashion week at the moment and I got to go to a show with one of my reps. It was for 'Ashish' and it was ok.
The models were way to skinny and had bones sticking out all over the place and there were a few too many sequins for my liking and the show went for about 15 mins max.
The best bit was hanging in the Moet bar after and drinking champagne and eating fancy cakes.
We sat next to Frank Lampards girlfriend Elen Rives ( I had no idea but some one pointed her out to me). He is a mega footballer and she is a WAG and had a diamond ring on her finger that was seriously so big I had to ask my friend if it was real or no, actually it was a bit much, but I would not be complaining if it was mine.

Cracking the craps at work

So this is what happened today at work
Got an all staff email, that went like this...
Hi - Ive got 2 VIP tickets to the MOBO awards tomorrow night, does anyone want to go?
So, I am on the email straight away - I love a bit of Hip Hop just as much as the next gangster and the fact that Kayne West and 50 cent are going is a good a reason as any.
Then 2 hours later she comes over to my desk and kneels down beside me ( like a lamo) and says 'We decided to give the tickets to James.'.
So I said cool thanks for letting me know.
Then she goes...'Yeah, you wrote back first but we decided to give them to him'
Now, hang on a minute but there was nothing in the email about picking who gets the tickets - it clearly stated it was a first come first served basis.
She goes on...'Yeah, we thought he should go as he does more radio and they gave us the tickets and also he really wants to go.
What part of me writing back, does not mean that I don't REALLY want to go!
IDIOT!

What if I wanted to break...

Went and saw 30 seconds to Mars on Friday night at the Brixton Academy - which is defo my favourite venue in this town. No matter where you are you get a kick arse view.
I've liked the band for a while and their song 'The Kill' is so good I cry probably every second time I hear it, they did an amazing version of it for about 10 minutes with a string quartet, they also had ballerinas and Opera singers and the stage was amazing.
Jared Leto is the lead singer in the band and apparently is a bit of a perfectionist which is fine by me, cause it was spot on for a concert.
The best bit was probably when he threw himself into the crowd and crowd surfed much to the horror of the security guards but unfortunately I was not close enough to get a feel. It was one of the best shows I have seen for a while - I give it a clean 10 out of 10.

Ahoy me maties

My work has a conference /away day coming up in a few weeks. Its in the Isle of Weight and its going to be a massive weekend that I am really looking forward to. Got the best news today - we are having a 'ball' on the Saturday night and the theme...Pirates!!!!
I love pirates and am so flippin excited about his you can not imagine. I have always been a fan of 'International talk like a pirate day' which is sometime in September and I am super duper looking forward to getting dressed up and arrrrrring all night long.

Also, had radio day today and did a tour of a station in town, bit boring but I won a digital radio worth about £100, which is perfect as I have found out that my unreal house is lacking in most modern appliances, such as a microwave, toaster, video recorder and dvd player.
To be honest, it is not that bad, the microwave thing I am over , the toaster thing still gets me, toasting bread in the oven takes for ever and at 2 in the morning waiting for bread to toast is not the best way to spend your time.

Not Much Happening

Not much has been going on lately...
Had a date..it was ok. I meet this guy at the fancy dress party I went to , I was Amy Winehouse, he was a block of Cheese (defo not the sexiest costume). So we met up and had dinner and a few drinks and it was good, he is now riding a bike around France for 2 weeks so we will see what happens when he gets back.
Went to Soho house, its a tres swanky exclusive members only bar in Soho...I got in wearing thongs so the 'exclusive' thing is rubbish.
It was the Brick lane festival on Sunday, I went down with a pal and got crushed in the crowd with 30 million other people so we decided to change plans and just go to the pub instead.
I must say, I was a bit disappointed with Britney's lamo performance at the VMA's.
That is all.

Transport sucks

There is currently a tube strike over here in London, its about some union crap and therefore no tubes, which is ruining my life.
Last night I had to wait on the street with a thousand other people trying to get on bus, I got home 2 hours after I left work. It normally takes 25 mins tops!
Then this morning I left my house at 7.30 and the bus stop is literally across the road and could not get on a bus so had to walk, I got to my desk at 10.00am.

This crap is going on for the next 4 days and I don't know if I can deal with it.

but to make it a bit better..I got a last minute released ticket to see 30 Seconds to Mars - yee ha!!!!

Need to go to rehab

On Saturday night, I went to the best party that I have been to in a while. It was my mate Summer's house party which has been a yearly thing for about 5 years and it was fancy dress. I love fancy dress but this time around I was a bit skint on what to wear, then I woke up Saturday morning and though of a brilliant idea..ill go as Amy Winehouse. Below is as much as I can recall from the night - it was massive.

Spend hours doing humongous beehive and lashings of eyeliner
Get train, head South to party and get starred at the whole way there
Find party
Get the lowdown that two guys on the way to the party had a car crash, then the guys who hit them get out and start beating them and they both end up in hospital!
Generally carry on and stay in character so drink ridiculous amounts of beer
Go to the shops for more beer, duck into the pub to use the loo, then get yelled at by the owner because ' the toilets, are only for customers', shout back at him...' don't you know who I am?? I am Amy Winehouse and she is a pirate, we can do what we want!'
Run back to party
Carry on drinking
Watch as some dude trips on his skirt - he was a gladiator and falls down 15 stairs
Carry on drinking
Start yelling at neighbours who were holding a rival party - tell them that their music is not as good as ours
Eat Doritos and hummus
Whole party runs out of beer, no shops open anywhere
Sit around and wait for the first train home
The alcohol wears off and the hang over kicks in
Train home... then train gets delayed
Cab the rest of the way
Call dad for fathers dad - pretend that I just woke up as opposed to just going to bed
Sleep all day Sunday
There were vikings, cowboys, little red riding hood, Samurai's and even 2 dogs that had caps on.
I will defo be there next year. And actually made a bet with this Irish guy dressed as an Arab that the loser would run up and down the road outside the party naked next year but I can not for the life of me remember what the bet was about.

My mate Muzza

Went to the Men's Health cover model party last night.
Basically it was a room full of women's trying to get a date with a hot guy. No one succeeded.
Wicked gift bags though, couple of bottles of perfume...straight onto eBay. Had the unfortunate pleasure of getting chatted up by a guy at work who asked me to go home with him, apparently it only cost £10 in a cab to his place and then he was happy to show me where to get the tube from to get back to mine...if that is not the offer of a lifetime I am not sure what is...( I didn't take him up on it)


Also, there is a newish guy at work, Murray. He is from Brisbane. Being the only Australian's at work we are now the best of friends. He is a bit bogan, so I pay him out a bit which is funny and he gives me grief because I am so scared of the sun. Its a great friendship.

I have also discovered a small fault in both of my flat mates...I am not sure why they both have this problem but its getting a annoying and I feel I need to say something

They both constantly talk when the TV is on. Not about non TV related things but its more about the actual show that we are watching.
'What happened?', 'what are they saying?', 'why are they doing that?'.
Come on people, if you were not talking and asking so many question you would hear what is going on and be able to follow the plot.
Tonight is the final of Big Brother and I have been hooked to the series, there are still seven people in the house and they are picking the winner, my money is on Ziggy. Luckily for me, both of the housemates are out tonight so I am home alone to bask in the glory of a quite room with nothing but my Pad Thai and my filthy hangover to keep me company - really its going to be a great night.