Jarvis Cocker is cool.

Way cool.
I have always liked Pulp and different Class is defo in my top ten favourite albums of all time.
On Saturday morning I was having some breakfast with my bitches and who walks in... non other than Jarvis Cocker.
Man he is cool.
He was with some friends and some kids and his kid.
He was all floppy hair and thick rimmed glass but just so achingly cool.
You can't compete with that level of coolness.
Technically, he is a massive nerd and a bit of a fruit cake but that just ads to the mystic of his radness.
Jarvis Cocker, you are my hero.
Also, if you have never heard the song Disco 2000 your life is not worth living so I strongly recommend you go listen to it right now. go.

My toe ring.

A long time ago, about 5 years a girl I worked with gave my a toe ring.
She went to Bali and bought it back.
Its was plain and silver, and just a little ring to put around my toe.
But I put in on, and I have not ever taken it off.
Man, I love that toe ring.
I would look at it and think just how much I loved it and how happy in it my toe felt.
Last night... I took my sock off and toe ring was no more.
It had snapped off.
No idea how, but my toe was bear and out of my sock came to bits of what was once my ring.
Sad sad times.
Its been there, literally for years, I loved it, I wore it with pride and I thought it looked so good.
I am not the same person without it.
I am lost.
I am walking different.
I do not feel complete.
I feel naked and vulnerable without it.
What I would give to have that toe ring back.
My dear toe ring, all the way from Bali, that I wore with pride.
It had seen some good times and had many a grain of sand stuck under it.
My toe ring.
You completed me.
I am nothing without you.
My toe ring.

suit = hot

I have recently had a few dates with a man, a real man.
He is a real grown up, with a big important job and an office and wears a suit.
And he is tall and looks like a proper man not the usual scabby losers I go for.
I meet him last night for dinner and he was all suit with fancy shoes, and tie and long black trench and he was wearing awesomely hot aftershave, I had a major moment when he walked in but managed to hold my shizzle together.
And he is polite and opens the doors and puts my jacket on and does all the other cool shit that men are supposed to do but never do.
He is lush, and tall and has a lovely smile and the suit, man can't stop thinking about the lush suit.
Hot.
I am done.

Red head men are not hot - that is a fact.

But there are sometimes, and only sometimes, exceptions to rules.
In my time I have only ever know one hot ginger man, he was my friends brother and his name was James.
He was hot, tall and hot and ginger.
The only other hot ginger man on the face of the earth is Josh Homme.
He is so amazingly awesome and sexy I can not even think of words to properly describe his hotness.
I was listening to him growl his way through a few songs today and I died a little inside with love for his radness.
I saw him recently with his band and he was insanely mezmorising.
Now keep in mind his band includes Dave Grohl who is also a fine specimen of a hunk of man and still Josh Homme had me tranfixed on his every move.
He smoked a few cigarettes on stage and his blatant disregard for anti smoking laws was even sexy.
Then he did some kinda dancing along to a song that was more swaying than dancing and even that was brilliant.
I would like to marry Josh Homme, he clearly likes Australians as he married one so if they do not last I will be happily next in line.
I would risk the ginger kids as well, cause if we had a son and they were nearly as cool as him then I would be a happy lady.
Oh Josh Homme, and your growly sexy voice. What I would give for you to just call me and talk to me.
Mega swoon.

Heart = Broken

I love men, always have, always will.
But I do not love the fact that the ones that I actually like and want something to do with, do not like me.
This stinks.
Why are the nutbags and mental patients all over it and want to spend their lives devoting themselves to me, and the sane normal ones that are fun and hot are not into it?
Why?
When will come the day that I meet a funny, clever, smart, hot man with a good personality that gets my jokes and he likes me as much as I like him.?
When?
When will this happen?
Cause the other day I read a star sign for the next decade and it said I would find love in 2018..
Are you freaking kidding me?!!?!?
I am not sitting around doing this shit for another 8 years.
I ain't getting any younger and lets be honest, any hotter.
So I hope that something gives in the next 12 months cause I am well over this shizzle.
Although, I did have a date last night which was rather good so see what happens there..he maybe the one..but then again, they all could be the one.

F**king losers, the lot of them.

Snowing big time.

Like really snowing.
It is ok, but I will be honest, the novelty has just about worn off.
I mean snow is very pretty and its romantic but it is just glorified rain really.
Its cold and it makes you wet, so the fun in both those things is rather slim.
Also, the biggest gripe is what are you supposed to wear in the snow, I refuse to buy snow boots as I already have a million pairs of shows and I will only need them for the nest week or so.
So I am getting around town in my gum boots.
Yep, my green wellies that I bought for Glastonbury, and the ones that I do the gardening in. They are quite the versatile footwear choice I have found.
Also, I know this is a non brainer but buying clothes that are actually made from wool makes such a difference on the cold days.
I have a new winter coat that is 83% wool - not sure what the other 17% is but that 83% is nice and warm.
I also think I need a full time boyfriend now, am sick of the part time lovers that Stevie Wonder was singing about and I am ready for a full timer to be on my books, if not for the romance just to share some body heat, its well cold these London nights.

Stuff

Well, its 2010.
A new year and a new start and all that.
2009 ended with out much fuss, Christmas was shit, as I had expected.
Really Grandma, why do you have to ask my again why I don't eat meat...does it really effect you? Is it going to make any freaking difference to your well being if I eat the meat or not?
No.
I didn't think so, so leave me alone and stop being such an old biddy.
And don't try to trick me to coming over to your house by saying you want to spend time with me but really you want me to clean out your glass cabinet.
You don't fool me grandma.

New year, on the other hand was tops.
Was by the sea side and that is always fun.
To say I was drunk would be the understatement of the decade, both this one and the last one.
I was hammered.
Something to do with the 5 bottles of champagne we drank before we even left the house.
There were tears (not mine), there were fights (jerk kebab man should know better than to over charge me), there was stealing of mirror balls and then a Congo line to get the mirror ball out of the club, then there was the long walk home, mirror ball under one arm, hot chips in the other. Good times all around.

So what does the new year hold for me..
Well, I would like a new job, so been applying for everything so I can leave my current job which is rather pants.
Id like a new house as my one is now getting on my nerves and I am at my absolute end with my flatmate, she is a retard.
Id like a boyfriend, who likes me like I like him, as the last one was going great but I just get the feeling that he was not into it like I was which sucks,.
I vow to eat more Lobster - I like saying things that I want to do and actually being able to do them, last year I wanted to wear Red lipstick and I did it so this years its Pinchy the Lobster for me.
I have recently become accustomed to Lobster and it is lush so I will eat more of it this year.
I am also having a cull of friends.
There are a few friends who have been specifically shit of late so they are gone, I am not going to put in the effort anymore if I get nothing back, my friendship is not a one way street. Fact.

So bring it on 2010, give me your worst and I will do my best.