Strange days

Its that weird time between Christmas and New Year.

I am at work, though have not done any work, all I have done is clean out my desk drawers and thrown out a few magazines - boring times.
These days are really weird, the city is empty and confusing. When is the rubbish man coming to pick up my rubbish? Will there be mail today? It the supermarket closing at 4pm or 10pm? Questions like these really plague me.

The highlight of my day is that I have booked a trip to New York, I can not wait.
I am going to visit my friend Lex and hang on the lower East Side. I am going to go to 42nd Street, shop at Sephora, go to Times square. Look at the statue of Liberty and go on a ferry to Staten Island( I think that is right). I will eat bagels and drink cocktails and go to Macy's. Then ill go tho Wall street and find flea markets and hit up the Bronx. Ill hang wth the Naked cowboy and go to that giat toy store. I can not wait....really. This is way to exciting.

Thankfully it is no longer Christmas

So, luckily Christmas is done for another year.
It was ok, not amazing, just ok. It is really a time of year to have a dig at each other and to let each other know what you think of them. My grandma is queen of this, she is 90 and does not give a shit, she says whatever she wants and if she does not get her way she will let you know how bitterly disappointed she is - always a way to brighten your day. But hey, its Christmas so lets all just get along..or not.
Here is my cousin being captain loser. We got the worst crackers ever, they did not crack at all and had to be ripped apart so hard to open them, never getting them from Asda again. So what to do with the ends of the crackers...wear them like binoculars!

I unwrapped my present from my Grandma to find this...a box of fish fingers.

I was concerned to say the least, but there was something inside, it was crap, I think I would of rather had the fish fingers.

Here is my Gran and Aunt with there pile of presents. Now I got 3 things, but my grandma got about 103 thing which took her about 72 minuets to open them all as she had to stop and write who they were all from so she can send out thank you cards. She suggested I do the same but instead I just thanked her, my aunt and cousin in person and that was me done.

Here is an example of the best decorations ever. Please note the tinsel on the heads of both the camel and the GI Joe doll. This is so bad its good, then bad again and back to good.

Tell me this is not the best wrapped Christmas present ever! Firstly the bottom bit is wrapped in a plastic bag. Then the two bits in the middle are in mix match paper then the top bit is in another type of paper and its all held together with electrical tape. Amazing work.

So it is done. It really is just for Kids, this Christmas thing, or old people.

I hate christmas

I really do and it is getting worse as I get older.
It is defiantly one of those things that is just for the kids, like theme parks and jam sandwich's, just for kids.
Yesterday I had to go Christmas shopping, what a ball ache. I had to buy 2 presents, one for my 90 year old Gran and 1 for my hippy free spirited Aunty, what a nightmare.
Gran has ended up with oven mits and drawer liners and Aunty got an African candle and free trade coffee, really presents that they don't need but what the hell else am I suppose to buy?

I am working up till Christmas eve then have to get on a packed train down to Brighton and I bet there are no seats so will be standing the whole way...awesome.
Then the trains are not running back to London till Saturday so have to stay there for 3 nights, sleeping on a couch...rad.
I am so not looking forward to any of it, I have already decide that next year I am not doing it, I will book my self somewhere out of the way of any family so I don't have to do this shit.
Buying stupid presents and receiving dumb stuff that I don't want or need.
Pretending to have a good time, when I am not. Eating stodgy English food like Yorkshire puddings and brussel sprouts, gross.

Give me a Pina Colada and some prawns with cocktail sauce on a sun lounger by an edgeless pool watching the sun set with River deep Mountain high playing in the background, that is what I want for Christmas.

Got another one

Ah, these crazy English and their crazy words for fruit and vegatables that are not the real names, but some fancy made up names that I have never heard of.
Today I ate a Clementine, and yesterday I ate a Satsuma.
Wow, they were great and whilst I was eating them, I was thinking, mmm...you are orange, from the citrus family, I have to peel you, and you are in little segments and you taste hella familiar...
Are you perhaps...a mandarin?
Why yes, you are!
But you are called some stupid posh name but you are the humble mandarin in disguise
I thought the Mounge Trout was bad enough but now I have Satsumas to deal with.

I am the 80's queen

So I was born in the eighties, I lived it, I felt it.
I wore my hair in bunchies and watch Punky Brewster, I had the tape of Bananrama and the Rubik's cube. There was cool music and stuff but really it was just a wash of fluro and bad makeup.
Work Christmas party this week was 80's theme and it was horrendous.
There was leg warmers, tight shorts, off the shoulder tops as far as the eye could see. There was also Robert Palmer with 11 back up girls, the Village people which consisted of senior management and there were 2 Michael Jackson in identical outfits which was tres embarrassing.
I decided to glam it up and go as Miss Australia 1984.
I bought a fabulous dress at a thrift store and made a sash out of ribbon and texta and had a sh*t load of hairspray and blue eye make up.
T'was a good night, was clearly robbed as I did not win best dressed so I spent the majority of the evening on the dance floor in 4 inch stilettos which has resulted in foot cramps for the last 2days - bad times.
But I now have this awesome dress to wear to formal occasion that require taffeta, bussels and heaps of shoulder ruffles - good times.

Being busy sucks

Man, I sit on my ass for 4 weeks doing f**g nothing, then all of a sudden.WHAM! I am now the busiest person in the whole wide world.
I have lots to report...but no time, so here is the condensed version:

6 gays, 4 girls and a tranny went to Oslo, we froze and had a wicked time.
Bumped into ex, realise that maybe 5 foot 4 is a little to short...
Got a new man, lost him.
Then got another new man and still got him hanging around.
Had heated discussion with flatmate but now getting alone fine.
Had a cry for the first time since I left home, about home.
Held a really cute ginger baby, decided that having a ginger kid would not be that bad.

That is about it. Its been good, got 2 Christmas parties this week which will be massive.
Over and out.