WHAT?

My grandma lives about 1 hour South of London and being the golden child thatI am, I go visit her about once a month. She is cool, cooks me lunch, and makes me work my arse off...putting things in the attic, opening jars, watering plants, fixing the glass house, vacumming under the tv.
This time I had to cut her hair, restock all the bird feeders and sort out the freezer, no such thing as a free lunch these days.
Any way, I went down there on Saturday and hung out for the day...

me: knocking on the door
grandma: hello
me: hi grandma!!
grandma: what?
me: hi grandma!
grandma: sorry,ive lost my hearing aid, what did you say?
me: HI GRANDMA!!! ( SHOUTING)
grandma: oh, hello dear, how are you?
me: good
grandma: what?
me: GOOD!!
grandma: oh good, come in
me: thanks
grandam: what?

Honestly it went on like this for the 6 hours I was there, I had no voice left by the time I went home. The best bit was at 4.15pm she had to watch Deal or no Deal and she turns the TV on and I was deafended, I didnt know TV's could go that loud.

me:GRANDMA, ITS A BIT LOUD, CAN YOU TURN IT DOWN??
grandma: what, I can't hear you?

Honestly, I hade to leave the room it was ridiculous. Bless her, my grandma, she is great and she makes a good potatoe salad, shame about the hearing thing.

1 thing off the list

So...New Years resolutions are acting going along ok, I was after a leather jacket and as you can see.....I have one.
It seriously cost me an arm and a leg but I am sooooooo in love with it and wear it all the time, every where and with every thing.
I see it as an investment, I will have this baby for a few years so I cam going to get that cost per wear ratio right down to nothing, actually I might wear it so much that I will actually make money off it.
Looking at the picture, my head looks a bit rough, but I blame that on the nightclub that I was in and the poor lighting, and thinking of night clubs, normally I am quite happy to put things in the clock room but not this bay, its sticking by my side for ever.

Don't Look

You know when some one says don't look and you cant help but look. Or when some one says don't touch this, and then they leave the room and you have to fight with yourself not to touch it...maybe its just me but anyway. One of my friends at work has just come back after having 3 weeks off, she said she was just taking a break, you know, unwinding blah blah blah, but I know that she was actually having a boob job.
Now she is a smart girl, and has come back to work with brown hair, she was originally peroxide bl ode, so ever one is saying 'wow, you look different, have you changed some thing? ' oh, I see..its your hair!'
Because no one else knows, I can't say it out loud or look at her boobs so I am trying to hold my focus on her eyes but its hard man, real hard.
They are not massive but they defo look bigger and very pert, so we are in cahoot's and we have organised a meet up tomorrow in the toilets so she can show me, I might even cop a feel!

Lucky

So an envelope landed on my desk today, with the word 'Lucky' on it and lots of coins inside. At first thought I was lucky and some one had left me all there change, but alas it was another work collection for a leaving present.
Firstly, they are leaving, its not like they are going to put in for my gift, but that being said I was very happy with my digital camera that I got from my last job. But seriously, if there is no card to accompany the gift, how does the person now I contributed, as far as they are concerned who ever hands the present to them is pretty much getting all the thanks.
So I ask, 'who is this for?' and I get told its for Lucky.
Now, I have been at work approx 6 months, and I know a few people her, but amongst the 150 peeps on 5 different floors and I have never come across any one called Lucky. Apparently Tim is nicknamed Lucky, well I'm sorry but the fact that I don't know this person, let alone their nick name seems like a pretty valid reason for not contributing to their leaving present. I resent the eye rolling and huffing when I said that I wasn't going to put in, you'll be lucky if you don't get a punch in the face from me!

End of a era

It is with a heavy heart that I say goodbye to my mobile phone.

My beloved motorola razor has dialled its last number, recived its last text and taken its last photo. The time has come to move on, over the past 2 & 1/2 years that I have had this phone I have unfortunatly dropped it one to many times, there was one occasion were it had a beer spilt on it, also it came in contact with some cola cola when I was falling asleep at my desk and decided to tip my drink all over my phone and key board and once I dropped it down some stairs...twice

I was looking through my beloved phone last night, before I took my sim card out, reminiscing and remembering the joy it has bought me over the years.
There are heaps of photos on there that I cant get off, pictures of ex boyfriend galore, self portraits, concerts ranging from 50 Cent, Snoop Dog to Tommy Lee & Kayne West. Pictures of tattoos, Jenifer Hawkins, Chris from Silvechari and Vince Vaughan on Pitt Street going to a film premiere - it served me well when digital camera was no where to be seen.

The thing I will miss most, is my beloved ring tone - Snoop Dog, Drop it like its Hot. There is a special meaning behind me choosing this ring tone, and 2 years after I got it it still makes me laugh but now I will have to settle for the bog standard ringing that comes with all phones, although there is a nice tango number that I think I will use.

Oh the memories, Ill miss you my darling Motorola but I will learn to love my new flip thingy phone and hopefully we have as a memorable time together as I did with my silver friend - and I am sorry about the time I tried to pimp you and covered you in gold sequined stickers.

So I get to work and check my emails, face book etc and my blog page...today there were a few comments including this..

''Your posts are a bit dull and you really should check your spelling and grammar before you post. Really.''

Thanks for ruining my day f*ck wit, the best part is that this comment is from an 'anonymous' person, they don't have the balls or face to tell me who they are or for me to read if they have their own blog - seriously why don't you keep your shit opinions to your self, you my anonymous friend are a loser and I hate you.
Thanks.

Food

Peeps at work today were talking about crisps, these are what I call chips. Its all very confusing when I ask for hot chips and they say' all chips are hot' but I mean crisps like doritos or salt and vinegar thins or tubes. Anyway I was thinking how good Cheezels are and there are no Cheezels in England, they don't even ave substitute for them so these people have no idea on the joy that they are missing out on, when you put them on your fingers like rings and eat them off or try to whistles through them or if you remember the ad with the 80's girl on the piano pouring them all over herself.
also, they also do not have pumpkin soup over here. At the super market they have every possible flavour of soup but not pumpkin, now that is just crazy considering how cold it is and how much soup people here eat, lunch time, dinner time, for a snack there is always soup around but noooooooooooo pumpkin. Another thing that I really like that they do not have is smoked tuna. Again, every other flavour under the sun, tomato, herb, brine (what is that), olive oil but not smoked, honestly I am going to start importing food products from Australia ,is it really to much to ask for pumkin soup, smoked tuna and cheezels??

All Spiced out

Round two of the Spice Girls last night ...It was good, no David Beckham but it was still OK but think twice s definitely enough I am all done but got to say, there is nothing like a coporate box, and its fancy salad and good champagne.
I'm not sure if its a direct link but I currently have a sty in my eye. I've never had one before and it hurts like a mother. According to the doctor on Google you are supposed to rub it with gold, so I was hunting around work for a gold ring, but seriously no one wears gold any more. I was then suggested to rub a gold coin on it, this was a bit hard seeing as we are not pirates, gold coins are a little hard to come by, so the next option was to rub a pound coin on it. A dirty pound coin that 8 million people have touched and rub that on my eye - no thanks!
So they only solution is I am going to get my mum to post her wedding ring over so I can rub it on my eye, then I will post it back. If she does not want to do that I will go the the jewellery shop in my lunch and when they have there back turned I rub my eye all over there gold, I am sure ill get away with that cause seriously with this fringe and a sty I am visually impaired.
P.S Being back at work sucks!

I tell you what I want...

So, back in London after New Yeards in Manchester. It was a bit rad. I hung out with some friends and went out for a brilliant New years Eve then ate heaps and watched music videos on the counch and just had a wicked time.
Last night went to the Spice girls. It was UNREAL!!!
They looks the business and the sounded pretty good, even Victoria held a few notes. But the highlight was....seeing David Beckham. Not only seeing him, but he was in a box 2 boxes away from our box! He was with his 3 kids and Victoria's parents and he looked scumtious in a big wooly cardigan. Man he is good looking, and I swear h looked right at me. As usual, I had no camera because you might get it confiscated but some one else snuck there's in so when I get back to work hopefully there will be pictures waiting for me.
I made a few more New Years resolutions...Buy more bedding - I've decided I need more cushions, I currently have 2 but that is not enough,I want to be a bit smothered so I'm getting 2 more. I am going to try to go to Glastonbury this year and some other festivals as well - I made a pact with some pals and we are already looking into tickets, I've never been camping before so it will be an experience.I am goin gto buy a leather jacket - Ive wanted one for a while and think it will be a good long term purchase so I am going to cough up some bucks and get one. Not a lesbo oe but a cool cropped one with a collar,I cant describe it but it will be good. Lastly...Morocco,and a few other places, basically travel more and go to all the places on my list.